Falling
by vegemite
Summary: It's Obidala, of course, of course! Takes place one year before 'The Second Wedding,' details how Padmé and ObiWan first became involved as more than friends.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Falling

**Author: **vegemite

**Rating: **K+ (Probably won't go to T, but don't be surprised if it does)

**Summary: **It's Obidala, of course, of course! Takes place one year before 'The Second Wedding,' details how Padmé and Obi-Wan first became involved as more than friends. Title was because I couldn't get that Alicia Keys song out of my head, and it seemed to fit...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything except the lint in my pocket and my fingers that churn out this stuff on a (sometimes) regular basis.

**A/N:** I've had this sitting my documents folder in my account for, I believe, well over a year. You see, I like to be finished with a fic before I start posting it, or it gets rather messy (see: the still unfinished "Love Is Futile"). Then I realised that 1. I only have, at most, a chapter left to write on this story, and 2. I'll have to rewrite most of the chapters before it. So I decided to stop being pathetic and just post. Not to mention, I need to get back into my Obidala groove. Oh, and by the way, this is in military time, with 24-hour days and everything. I just got tired of trying to figure out what galactic time was in Star Wars, let alone adpating it to Alderaan. Sorry. One more thing: I recommend you read the stories on my list of Obidalas that can be found on my bio, because I'm not sure how well you'll be able to follow along without certain background like "No Comfort" and "The Second Wedding."

**Chapter One - Politics and Training **

Padmé Naberrie flopped onto her bed, exhausted. She looked at the chrono on her bedside table. It was only twenty-one.

The comm beeped. Sighing, she hit the audio-only button.

"Sola Organa," she said, giving her alias, which was a combination of her sister's and Bail Organa's name. "Who is it?"

"Padmé, it's Obi-Wan."

"Oh, hello." She smiled. His voice was calming, and she was too tired to be calm right now...she'd fall asleep... "What's going on?"

"I was just wondering if we could finish our discussion about Leia's training. It ended rather abruptly this morning."

"I'm sorry, I had things to do. But, sure." She stifled a yawn. "Go ahead."

"We should probably talk about this in person..."

"Fine, come over."

"Thank you. I'd have asked you to come here, but I know you don't have anyone to watch Leia..."

"Don't remind me." Padmé didn't like relying on anyone else to take care of her young daughter, even when the girl was sleeping, like she was now. Leia spent her days at the court, learning the Organa family business. Little did she know that Bail wasn't her true uncle...

"I'll be over soon, then."

"Okay, bye."

"Goodbye." The tone indicating that he disconnected sounded and she sighed again. Now she'd have to make kaffe and she'd be up all night. She needed to be awake while she was talking with Obi-Wan. She knew he had Leia's best interests in mind, but, well, Padmé was scared. She didn't want what had happened to her husband to happen to her daughter. She couldn't lose Leia. It was bad enough that she'd lost Luke...

Luke. Padmé tried not to think about him a lot, because it hurt too much. She had missed everything in his life, except his birth. What did he look like? Did he resemble his father, or did he look like her and Leia? And what was Yoda teaching him? She trusted Yoda even more than she trusted Obi-Wan, at least in terms of training, but still she wondered...

That wasn't fair. She couldn't blame Obi-Wan for Ani's shortcomings.

Gods. Ani. She couldn't deal with thinking about him this close to the anniversary, so she did what she usually did to get her mind off the darkness--she occupied herself. She went into the kitchen and pulled fresh kaffe beans out of the refrigerator, grinding them. Pre-ground would have been fine, but the motions calmed her mind. She continued to make the kaffe, as painstakingly as she could, trying to achieve perfection with every step. Then when she'd poured the hot liquid, she decided that she should probably make some for Obi-Wan too, and was just about to put more beans into the grinder when she heard the door buzz and answered it.

"Hello, Obi-Wan. Come in. I was just making kaffe, did you want some?" She moved back to the kitchen, hearing him follow her.

"Oh, no, thank you, I'm fine." She was a little disappointed, but gathered her own cup.

"Do you want anything?"

"No, thank you. But we should probably sit down."

"Of course, of course." She walked out the open kitchen into the living room, sitting on the couch. Obi-Wan sat next to her, perched on the edge and with a straight back.

"Padmé, I'm concerned," he said, starting off right away. "Leia _is_ strong in the Force, there is no doubt. Yoda choosing to train Luke doesn't mean Leia doesn't need to train also."

"I just..I can't let her. I didn't really want Luke to go, but it all happened so quickly..." She looked at her cup. What she really wanted to say was that she felt like she'd been coerced into giving up her baby, and in a traumatic period when she didn't have enough energy or will to fight for him.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this." She felt his hand on her arm. "But you _must _let me train her. If her powers go unchecked, the galaxy could pay."

"She'll never know about her powers if she doesn't train."

"She'll find out. As strong as she is, it would be impossible for her not to know at some point. But there's an even greater risk than untamed power. What if Palpatine were to learn of her and capture her, raw and untrained? He could turn her easily, and she'd never know. I can teach her to resist, to go against the dark, to at least put up a fight."

"It's just so...difficult to let go."

"You must, Padmé. She needs you to." His voice was firm, but his eyes were kind and even pleading.

"Train her." She sighed. "Train her. I can't fight you, I know you're right, and I want what's best for Leia. I trust you." She looked away, wiping at a little tear in the corner of her eye. Both of them were silent for a long while before Obi-Wan removed his hand from her arm and looked away from her.

"Thank you. I...I won't let it happen again." He was looking straight forward at the blank holoscreen a few meters in front of them, purposely avoiding eye contact.

"What are you..." Her eyes widened in realization. "No, Obi-Wan! It wasn't you, It was all him!"

"I trained him. He turned because I failed."

"And I loved him. He turned because he wanted to save me. But I know it's not my fault, because every way I could have done something differently, the end result never changes in my mind. Deep inside, you know you didn't really fail. Don't you? Oh, Obi-Wan, have you stored this all these years?" He nodded silently and turned to face her with eyes wet from unshed tears. Her heart broke for him in that moment. She hadn't known he honestly still blamed himself for Vader!

"I failed," he whispered, voice breaking. Padmé couldn't help but pull him down into a hug, letting him rest his head on her shoulder.

"No, you didn't. No, no," she said gently. She was stricken by the thought of how similar this was to the flight from Coruscant to Mustafar five years ago, with roles reversed. It was Obi-Wan's turn to have a breakdown; perhaps this was just what he needed. She stroked his hair, rubbing his back. What he needed was to be held. He didn't allow himself enough leeway to grieve every once in a while.

She felt warm moisture on her shoulder but couldn't hear sobbing. Well, it was strange to see him crying at all, she shouldn't expect him to be practically in convulsions the way she had been. She'd never seen him have a good cry, even after Mustafar...yes, this was definitely what he needed. She continued to move her hand over his head, stroking his hair, until he finally pulled away.

"I'm sorry, Padmé. I should have more control over my emotions. Regret...regret leads down a dark path."

"Control doesn't mean suppression. It's alright to _mourn_. You may regret things that you did, but when you mourn, you learn to let go of some of those things."

He nodded. "Thank you." He smiled weakly as she continued to brush the hair back from his face.

"Don't mention it. You've been such a good friend all these years, I'm just returning the favor." She smiled and he returned it. Then he took her hand, rather quickly, in both of his and placed it in her lap, withdrawing quickly. She sighed and picked up her kaffe. It had cooled to room temperature. She made a face at the cup.

"I'm going to make some more." She got up and walked into the kitchen. "Do you want any?"

"Actually, I should probably get going soon." Padmé frowned and checked the kitchen chrono.

"You've barely been here at all." She pulled out the pre ground kaffe. "You've got to stay longer." _Please stay longer_, she begged with her mind. If he left, she'd have to take her own advice, and grieve for Anakin. She didn't want to do that tonight. _Is that being hypocritical?_ she wondered. No, it wasn't, she decided. She had mourned for Anakin many times--she just really didn't want to right now.

"Well, I suppose it's not that late."

"Great." She grinned, pouring the bag into the kaffe machine. "What will you have?"

"Whatever you're having."

"Okay. I'm actually only making it because I'm so tired, and I was almost falling asleep..." she started to babble on, to fill the quiet spaces in the lack of conversation. She stopped herself.

"I'm sorry, am I keeping you up?" He started to rise.

"Oh, no no no. I just had a lot of political reports to review today. I was feeling a little frazzled, but I'm much better now."

"Bail works you too hard." Obi-Wan looked at her, concerned.

"Bail wants me to work less. I think I should work more. We can't take Palpatine down unless we work harder." She realized what she had said and put her hand over her mouth as Obi-Wan's eyes widened.

"Padmé! Don't tell me the rumors are true!" She didn't answer at first, still a little in shock at what she had just revealed, and still gauging how he was taking it. Then, carefully, she began to argue her case.

"Obi-Wan, you can't honestly think a rebellion has no merit."

"How deep are you in? How deep is Bail? I can't believe this!" He leapt up and started pacing, heels of his hands on his forehead. She heard him muttering. "Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Anger is of the dark side..." She knew he must be truly furious if he was reciting that to himself.

"It's not as bad as you think."

"Yes it is! Do you know what could happen if Palpatine finds out? He'll investigate! And you, and Leia, and even Luke..." he began muttering again.

"Of course we know. Shouldn't it be a testament to how strongly we believe in this that we even risked it?"

"Padmé, it will never work." He looked at her seriously. The kaffe machine beeped behind her and she turned to tend to it.

"Not right now. Not today, or tomorrow, or even in five years. But one day, it will work. And then it will have been worth the worry, to rid the galaxy of its Empire." She regarded him just as seriously.

"You're still the idealistic senator. After everything, you're still optimistic. How do you do it, Padmé?"

"I look at the bright side." She picked up her cup, gave him his, and sat down again. "I could have died. You could have died. My babies could have died. But we all survived, and that's reason enough for optimism. And I feel like I survived for a purpose. This is it."

"You're serious, aren't you?" He sat back down too.

"Yes. Look, we've got representatives from Bothawui interested."

"Bothawui? Bothans can't be trusted--they're too self-absorbed."

"We're being careful, and we're using logic they can't refute. The group is growing, slowly but surely. Once Palpatine shows his true colors even more, we'll have an influx of supporters. We can do it, Obi-Wan! We just have to work secretly and precisely."

He sighed, seemingly resigning himself to the fact that she wasn't goign to be talked out of this. "Who else do you have?"

"Right now, it's mostly Bail, Mon Mothma, and me. We've got a few others, but we're the main ones." He looked at her for a few seconds before speaking again.

"I can't tell you what to do. You know the risks, and you know I object. Just...don't drag Leia into it, please."

"I wouldn't dream of it! She's just a child," she replied quickly, and he looked at her uneasily. It seemed that his faith in her won out over his other doubts, though.

"I guess there's no more I can say. No wonder you were a queen."

"I _did_ train in debate..." It took a few moments, but he began to laugh, and then so did she. Smiling down into her kaffe, she thought that that hadn't gone half as badly as she'd feared.


	2. Chapter 2

I got the ages of Padmé and Obi-Wan from an old NJO book that had a timeline in the front, so they might be a little off, but they seem right to me. Some of this inspired by Obi-Wan's incredible costuming in Episode III - ah, he was a beautiful man. ;)

* * *

"Padmé, we should be doing this in the morning, when she's most alert," Obi-Wan hissed. 

"I know, but..."

"But you want to chaperone." He sighed, then turned to the oblivious little girl looking at her surroundings. "Leia, come with me. Your mother will stay here and watch." He took the girl's hand and brought her to the middle of the large physical training room where they sat on the floor, crosslegged and facing each other. Padmé sat in a chair on the edge of the room.

"Do you know anything..." Padmé didn't hear the rest of what Obi-Wan said. She strained her ears, but still nothing. What was going on? Then it dawned on her: he was blocking her! He was making it so she _couldn't _hear!

Leia shook her head, and Obi-Wan began talking to her very seriously. Padmé was furious. What right did he have to do this? Was it wrong for her to want to be with Leia for her training? She wasn't _chaperoning_, she was just...making sure he didn't do something strange, or push her too fast.

After a while, he stood up and drew his lightsaber. She couldn't even hear the crackle as he ignited it!

The eyes of her daughter were wide at the sight of this weapon. Obi-Wan pulled a small floating training droid out of his cloak, which he then rid himself of. Leia went scooting backwards. The Jedi Master activated the device and it sent out spurts of blaster fire, each one successfully blocked by a whirling blue blade. Padmé couldn't hear any of it!

The impressive display was over in seconds, and left Obi-Wan not even short of breath. Leia was even more in awe, if that was possible. She looked over at her mother, as if to say, 'Did you see that?' Padmé mustered a smile and Obi-Wan said something that caused the girl to nod vigorously.

The remote reactivated, but slower this time. Obi-Wan repeated his defense, each motion detailed and specific. She was sure that it had been this way before, but too fast for her to notice. She could see his mouth moving in some kind of instruction to Leia. Without sound, the entire scene was similar to watching a very old holovid.

Padmé could scarcely believe that Obi-Wan had this sort of skill, strength and grace after all these years. She knew he had been keeping himself in shape, but she didn't expect him to still be so efficient.She realized how silly the notion that he wouldn't be was, considering that he was a Jedi. Still, he was, what, forty-two? _Eleven years older than me?_ Bail was about the same age and getting a little pudgy, even with nutrition by a royal chef. It certainly didn't seem possible that Obi-Wan was also in his forties, from the fluid movement of his limbs, the lightness of his feet, the way his tunic fit him so well, the perfect hug of his boots against his calves...

_Padmé!_ What was she thinking? Obi-Wan was her _friend_, she couldn't think about him like that. Besides which, she had always thought he was handsome, there was no reason to notice it now. Right now she needed to concentrate. Leia's training should take her entire concentration.

Obi-Wan was cross-legged again, but he wasn't on the floor. Instead, he was hovering about six inches above it. Leia was slowly rising also, looking down with wide eyes.

The stayed that way for about half an hour, in discussion the entire time. To Padmé's surprise, Obi-Wan didn't seem to be merely lecturing her daughter, but actually engaging her in conversation. Eventually, they were both lowered gently to the ground. They stood and shook hands before Leia skipped over to Padmé's side, Obi-Wan close behind.

"Mommy, Mommy!" she cried enthusiastically. "I learned all about the Force and Jedis and lightsabers and lots of other really cool stuff! Please let Obi train me some more, please?"

"You can tell me all about it at dinner, and we'll discuss it then. Right now, we need to go home. Obi-Wan, wouldn't you like to join us?" She put an icy order into her eyes and question.

"Thank you, Padmé, but--" she grabbed his arm before he could giver her a real reason.

"Let's go."

-

She quickly told her daughter to play in her room, then turned to face him from across the living room with her hands on her hips and a burning glare.

"How dare you!"

"Padmé, it's very important that--"

"Who gave you the right to do that?"

"Padmé, will you please listen?"

"Oh, sure. I can listen _now_!" The room was silent for a few seconds. Then Obi-Wan began again.

"It's very important that this be something Leia completes on her own. A Jedi must learn independence."

"Then why--" She was cut off by his hand in the air.

"Please. Let me finish. While I will not train her to the extent that I would train a Padawan, I will teach her only the basics, and if she catches well, perhaps she will be trained further. But if her mother is looking over her shoulder every moment, she will not progress. Padmé." He crossed the room and took her hands in his. "Please trust me. You know I would never try to hurt you, or Leia." He looked her straightin the eyes, completely serious. "Don't make this harder on her than it will be."

She sighed. "If I let you train her, no strings attatched, will you accept that I'm a part of this alliance against the Emperor?" She wasn't prepared to budge, and she hoped he sensed that, becase he nodded slowly. She sighed, still annoyed that she hadn't gotten exactly what she wanted, but able to see the sensibility of his arguments. "Thank you."And she did something next that she didn't expect to do.

She hugged him.

Padmé didn't mean for it to be a grand gesture or anything too intimate, just a wrapping around of arms for a few brief seconds. But when the time came that she knew she should break away, she was unwilling, for she suddenly felt that if she moved away from this warmth, she might be simply too cold. Instead, she continued to rest her head against his chest and, in an attempt to not feel awkward, asked him when he would pick Leia up the next day.

"Whenever you leave for work," he said, after a period of what she guessed was his initial surprise.

"Around seven." He loosened his grip slightly to let her break away, but she wasn't ready yet. Instead, she let herself loosen up a little more so that he wouldn't feel smothered. She knew all of a sudden that this was something that she needed, and she tried to send him the message through her thoughts. She knew he would be probing them and, gentleman and good friend that he was, he would provide her with a huggable body if she needed it. And it was definitely something she was glad to accept. He was comfortable and warm, soft in all the right places but still with the muscle of a Jedi. His arms, although loose at the moment, felt like a wall around her and she forgot all the things she knew she should be worrying about. As she closed her eyes and buried her head into his chest and the hollow beneath his neck, it felt almost like his body was a perfect match for hers.

She wondered if he thought this was strange and sudden. It was, but she didn't care. She could have remained here forever, if time would have allowed it. _In the arms of a friend_, she reminded herself, just in case she got out of her mind for a second. His arms re-tightened around her and his hands began to move across her back and stroked her hair, although she knew he was being careful to keep it purely friendly and was glad for this.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," she said, knowing she was lying. "Well, I don't know. I just suddenly felt like I needed some help...I don't know why."

"Don't worry about it," he said softly, continuing to rub her back like he might if she were crying. It was quiet for a while and she began feeling awkward again. It was obvious now that she really did need to move away. They continued in their silence for a long moment until he broke it. "Seven?"

"Yes. I'll see you then."

"Goodbye." He left the apartment, quickly, but she couldn't help but see the soft expression on his face. She knew that her face probably held a similar expression, and also that she would have trouble sleeping today. It would not be from this encounter, so much as from the promise of seeing him tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Sure enough, Obi-Wan was there to pick up Leia at seven timeparts the next morning, as he'd said he would be. Padmé _was_ glad to see him, but of course she did not tell him this. The arrangement worked well (although Padmé had no idea what they would do when Leia started school in two months), Leia was learning at a fast rate and was always eager, and Obi-Wan stayed at a distance from her dealings with the Bothans.

The time away from Leia in the mornings was greatly appreciated by Padmé, as she hadn't realized how much she missed her "alone time." Her office room was certainly quieter, and she occasionally even took the morning off, at Bail's insistence, of course.

On one morning she hadn't been forced to take off, Bail's wife Kila visited. She and Padmé had grown rather close in the year after Anakin's...death, and they still maintained their friendship. Kila was one of the only people Padmé completely trusted with Leia.

"Hello, darling!" she said, in her heavy core accent, sweeping into the room. "How are you?"

"Oh, Kila, hello. I'm fine," she responded, quickly brushing aside the paper she'd been looking at as teh slightly older woman sat across from her.

"I have something for you." She smiled, a glint in her eye. Kila was not the typical Alderaanian--she was, in fact, born on Coruscant--and was louder and flashier than most. But Bail, Padmé, and the Alderaanian public loved her because of her big heart and always good intentions.

"What is it?" Padmé asked cautiously.

"Here." She handed her a card. "Open it, open it."

"Gilded, very nice," Padmé said, smiling slyly.

"Oh, just open the damn card, dear!"

"All right, all right." She slid a finger in between the sheets and broke the seal, reading out loud. "Miss Sola Organa." She raised an eyebrow.

"Security, darling, security."

She continued. "You are invited to the annual Alderaanian ball, held in honor of the great Viceroy Bail Organa. Nineteen timeparts, Third day of Jorth, in the hall of his lordship. Oh, Kila, you know I can't."

"Why not? You never go. You've got to make more public appearances, or the Alderaanian people will forget who it is they're supposed to be paying for to stay here."

"They don't pay for me, you do."

"Then consider it a favor, darling. Do it as a favor for me. I'm always bored to death at those things, with the stuffy diplomats and droll politicians. You'd be right at home, and I'd finally have someone to talk to."

"I'm not sure if I should be offended at that..."

"Oh, you know what I mean. Say you'll come." Kila made her pleading face, which was always ineffective, and Padmé tried to stall. She really didn't feel like going through the hassle of all this pomp and circumstance. Hadn't she left that behind when she came here?

"Well...what about Leia? I can't leave her alone for some...some silly ball!"

"I'll give you one of my assistants to look after her. She's very good, actually was trained once in childcare. And don't you _dare_ say you haven't got anything to wear, because then I'll _know_ you just trying to get out of this!" She smiled, rolling her eyes.

"A--an escort! I haven't got anyone to go with, I haven't got an escort. You need one for this kind of thing."

"Excuse me, Padmé, but think! Obi-Wan! Ask him."

"Kila! You know I can't do that! Obi-Wan is a Jedi."

"No one else knows that. Besides, I've seen the way he looks at you." She sat back, smiling. Padmé felt warm all of a sudden.

"What way?"

"Oh, you know, can't keep his eyes off you..."

_No, Obi-Wan is a Jedi. He would never think things like that._

"Come on, Padmé, please? After all, it's just a silly ball."

"But--"

"No buts. You'll ask Obi-Wan, I'll get you a babysitter, you'll look absolutely fabulous in something, and you'll come to the ball. Understood?"

"I guess--"

"Wonderful, darling, you've made the right decision. I've got to go, see you later." Padmé sighed, wondering how she'd just managed to get suckered into this ball. Maybe she'd try and get out later...come down with something...

"Why, _hello_!" Padmé looked up and saw that Kila had half-stepped out the door and was speaking to someone.

"Hello, Kila," a smooth, male voice said. _Force, no!_ Just her luck.

"Hello, Obi-Wan. Wonderful to see you." She smiled, stepping to the side to let him in, Leia following. He turned towards Padmé and Kila looked at her knowingly from behind his back, nodding vigorously and pointing at him. Padmé felt her cheeks catch fire.

"Goodbye, darling!" She shut the door.

"What was that about?" Obi-Wan asked, as Leia crossed the room to kiss her mother on the cheek.

"Oh, you know Kila. Crazy."

"So I've heard." He stood at the door, unmoving. Padmé saw a little message pop up on her terminal's screen. It was from Kila and it threatened bodily harm if she wasn't asking Obi-Wan to the ball this very moment. _How in the cosmos did she do that so quickly?_ "I should probably be going now."

"No! I mean, uh..." She glanced back at the message and saw the graphic detail of how exactly she would be hurt.

_Damn it, Kila..._

"I mean, uh, Leia, could you play with your toys and promise not to touch any of Mommy's papers? I'll be right outside."

"Okay!" The girl skipped off and grabbed a doll, much the same way that Padmé grabbed Obi-Wan's arm and dragged him out of the room.

"What are you doing?" he asked, freeing himself as she shut them into the hall.

"I have to ask you something," she blurted out. _Okay, breathe, Padmé. If you don't do it now, Kila will make you some other time. It's just Obi-Wan. He'll understand. It's not like you're asking him to do anything dangerous or ridiculous...well, scratch that last one..._

"What is it?"

"Well, see, there's this ball thing that I don't really want to go to, but I should because it would be good for PR, and I think Kila might kill me if I refuse again. But I really_ don't_ know what to wear, and I have to leave Leia with some babysitter or something. And I have to go with someone because, you know, it's a formal ball and all that, and Kila suggested you, only that's the silliest idea I've ever heard, not because I don't want to go with you, because I do. But I know you'd never want to go with me or anything, because you'd be completely bored to death of all the politics and you'd be all paranoid about public appearances, and...well, I guess, my question is..."

"Will I go with you?"

"Yes. Obi-Wan, stop laughing!"

"I'm not!" he said, hand over his mouth. "But I must admit, this is funny!"

"No, it's not." She crossed her arms. Oh, perfect, to top it all off now she was pouting!

He coughed to cover up snickers, then straightened himself out. "You're right. This is a very serious issue." His eyes still twinkled. "And I would be _honored_ to escort you to this 'ball thing.'"

"Thank you, Master Kenobi," she said cooly, shaking his hand and trying to maintain her composure. "I'm sure you will prove...satisfactory." She secretly reveld in the response she got.

"Satisfactory? Well, we'll see about that." He grinned in a way that she was sure was almost suggestive, and she tried incredibly hard not to smile back. "I'll see you tomorrow when I pick up Leia. Goodbye." He turned and walked away, and she couldn't help but think that although she had serious doubts as to how the evening would go, it might actually be a little fun.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm so sorry I haven't updated this in...oh, gosh, a year and a half. The saddest part is, it's almost finished. I just haven't typed it up yet. Anyway, I humbly offer you this chapter...

* * *

"When are you going to the ball, Mommy? Can I come? Can I wear a big puffy dress and grownup gloves?" Padmé was assaulted by her daughter the moment she entered her office.

"Slow down, what do you want?" She picked Leia up and set her a few feet back.

"I want to go to the _ball_," she explained, exaggerating her words. Padmé sighed and gave her a Look.

"No, Leia, you cannot go. How did you find out?"

"I…heard." The girl shuffled her feet a little, glancing down.

"Really?" Padmé asked dryly.

"Yes. Why didn't you think Obi—Master Kenobi—wouldn't want to go with you?"

"Leia…" she put a hand on her forehead. "First of all, don't call him Master Kenobi. That's too…strange. Obi-Wan, Obi, or Ben, and that's it, understand? We all have enough names as it is," she muttered under her breath. Leia looked up and nodded. "All right."

"Why do you think he doesn't want to go with you?"

"Because…because it's obvious he's only doing this as a favor, not because he wants to. Balls are boring, and I doubt Obi-Wan is interested in them."

"How do you know?" The innocent way the question was asked made Padmé all the more flustered, for some reason.

"Because...he's just…he doesn't like that sort of thing. Boys don't like dressing up and dancing." She hurried over to her desk and started shuffling through flimsies.

"Do you think Obi doesn't like you?" Padmé paused momentarily.

"That's a silly question, Leia." It was silent for a while.

"'Cause I think he likes you lots."

"Why?"

"I dunno. He looks at you lots." What was what Kila had said…"'Cept sometimes it's a funny look. But not most of the time," she reassured quickly.

"How does he look at me most of the time?"

Leia shrugged. "Kinda like he…likes you lots, I guess." She glanced away. "Can I play with my dolls now?"

"Yes, yes, go." The girl scurried off and Padmé sat at her desk. She began to review datapads and flimsies, recording information. After a few minutes, she found herself unable to concentrate. Determined not to give in to the wandering of her mind, the organization of her desk proved a distraction. But it only lasted a few minutes, and then she was unable to hold back against the waves of images, feelings, questions, and thoughts.

What was going on? Did he really "look at her funny"? Did he really want to go to this ball, or was he just being nice? Did Kila really think he might have feelings for her? Did she have feelings for him? He had always comforted her, but she didn't think that went past friendship. She had been happy with their friendship, and then her best girlfriend and, unknowingly, her daughter had planted seeds of doubt in her mind. Should she pay attention to any of this?

_Calm down, Padmé. _Her breathing was becoming hitched. Oh, what was she doing? It was just Obi-Wan!

But…then why was he apparently looking at her so much?

No, they were just exaggerating, Kila always blew things out of proportion and Leia, well, Leia was a child and probably didn't even know what she was talking about.

Padmé was trying to convince herself that it wasn't true, but then she'd come back to…what if she wanted him to look at her? She'd looked at him, just a few weeks ago, when she'd sat in on Leia's training. What if he was doing the same when she wasn't watching? Would she really hate it if he was?

No, no, no! This was all in her head. This was all Kila's fault, for putting such a stupid idea in her mind when there were more than enough things already floating around up there. She was acting like a girl who'd just been told that someone liked her and now, she was suddenly obsessed. She wouldn't do this.

And not to mention, on top of all of this, he was a Jedi. Jedi didn't look upon women with desire, and they certainly weren't the kind of men you'd want to develop a crush on. She told herself to stop it, _now_, before her silly thoughts got out of control.

Obi-Wan was a good friend, and she didn't want to lose his companionship by acting like a ninny around him. Of all the people she still communicated with, he had known her the longest and understood her the best. She couldn't lose the powerful bond they'd built up over the years; it was too vital to her survival.


	5. Chapter 5

"Kila! It's an emergency, I can't figure out what to wear!" Padmé screeched into the comm..

"What in the galaxy are you talking about?"

"The ball! It's in less than seventy-two timeparts and I haven't decided what I'm wearing!"

"Padmé, I hardly think that constitutes an emergency. And what do you mean, you don't know what to wear? You've always had more clothes than Bail and I put together. I'm sure you'll look stunning in whatever you pull out of that overstuffed closet of yours, as you always do, damn you."

"I need your help, Kila, please?"

The woman on the other end sighed. "I'm coming, I'm coming. This is rich, the queen of Naboo needs fashion advice…"

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Padmé hung up quickly so that Kila couldn't change her mind. She turned back to her closet. There was really nothing. And she knew it. She'd been looking for days, and…well, she didn't want to buy anything new, but she didn't know what else to do!

"Mommy, what are you doing?" Leia padded into the room.

"Oh, just waiting for Aunt Kila to come over and help me." Padmé sat on her bed.

"With what?" Leia crawled into her lap and hugged her arm.

"I need to decide what I'm wearing to the ball."

"The one you're going to with Obi?" Padmé cringed slightly inside, because she'd been trying to forget how ridiculous this entire thing was.

"Yes."

Leia was silent for a few moments. Then she looked up at Padmé and touched her cheek. "You always look pretty, Mommy."

Padmé blushed. "Thank you. It's…it's not a matter of looking pretty. It's a matter of…functionality, and being presentable."

"What?"

She sighed. "Never mind. Aunt Kila knows what I need." _I hope._

Kila arrived a few minutes later, and Leia said she was bored and went back to watching her holovid. As soon as the little girl was gone, Kila turned to Padmé with that mischievous grin and a glint in her eye.

"So? Tell me everything!"

"What?" Padmé tried to feign ignorance, but she knew full well what the other woman meant.

"You know, what's going on with you and Obi-Wan!"

"Kila," she laughed, acting ignorant. "There isn't _anything_ going on between Obi-Wan and me."

"I can tell when you're lying, Padmé." The woman raised and eyebrow. "I want to know, before I help you find something to wear."

"Really, there's nothing," she insisted, dropping the laughter and the act."

And of course, you wish there was…?"

"No, I—"

"Honesty, Padmé. Honesty is a virtue."

The former senator sighed. "Isn't not badgering people until they give in to your demands also a virtue?" Kila just gave her a look. "Fine. I…find him attractive. But that doesn't mean anything!"

"Oh, no, nothing." Kila nodded in mock agreement.

"I found him attractive when I was fourteen, for Force sake! And anyway, he's a Jedi. I'm still in politics, I have a four-year-old to take care of, and I don't have time for that kind of thing. It's against his code, it's against my rules—"

"Hold one, what rules?"

"Well, I…I can't fall in love with a Jedi again. After what happened before? I just…couldn't possibly…"

"Padmé." The viceroy's wife took her friend's hand sin her own. "Obi-Wan is a very different man that Anak—the other one. The fact that you _haven't _fallen madly head –over-heels in love with him is evidence of that."

"But…I just can't! What about Leia?"

"You are joking, right? She adores the man! And he's so scrumptiously handsome, who wouldn't…"

"Kila!" Padmé proclaimed.

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten I'm married. I was just pointing out."

"Well, don't."

The other woman sighed. "What would be so wrong with just giving him a shot?"

"Have you been listening at all? Besides every possible other thing that could go wrong, the code of the Jedi Order states that—"

"The Order doesn't exist any more, Padmé. Besides, why do you think they had that rule? So that Jedi wouldn't fall in love with a stranger and be heartbroken when they had to leave the planet on a new assignment. He's notgoing anywhere, in case you've forgotten."

Padmé was silent for a few moments. "Will you help me with the dress now?"

Kila sighed. "Let's see what you're got…" They spent two whole time parts ruffling through mountains of silk and velvet and bows and petticoats before Kila finally proclaimed a winner. It was just in time, too, because the Viceroy had come down to reclaim his wife.

"Uncle Bail!" Leia ran to Padmé's 'brother' when he came in the door. "Aunty Kila's here, too!"

"I know," he said, scooping the little girl up and putting her on his hip. "I came to stop her from driving your mother crazy." Leia giggled.

"I heard that, Bail!" Kila shouted, then started muttering, probably about what an oaf he was. He chuckled back.

"Good, maybe you'll come home and take it out on me instead of poor Padmé." Kila came storming out of the room at that, in a fake temper.

"I'll have you know I've been very helpful this evening! She now knows what dress she's wearing to your ball."

"My ball? You planned the entire thing." He smiled, seeing her getting flustered and leaned forward to peck her on the cheek. "Don't throw a tantrum in front of Leia. Save it for home, where you can put all that frustrated energy to good use," he whispered into her ear. She didn't give any hint that she understood what he was talking about, but calmed down quite a bit. "Now, take the little princess so I can have a word with Padmé."

"What for? Kila asked, always curious.

"Business," he lied, passing his 'niece' off and walking in to Padmé's room.

"I hope you're decent," he called.

"Oh, don't be silly, Bail," Padmé replied, turning from her task of hanging up the heap of dresses and smiling at him. "What's wrong? You barely ever come down here."

"I just wanted to have a word with you. About Obi-Wan."

"Oh, not you too." She groaned, collapsing on to the bed. "All I've heard all night is 'Obi-Wan will love this dress' and 'why don't you give Obi-Wan a chance?' and 'how can you possibly not think that you're perfect for each other?' It's driving me insane."

"Looks like I'm too late," he said, smiling. "I was going to warn you not to listen to her."

"How can I not listen to her? Bail, she makes so much sense," Padmé whimpered. "And I don't want her to make sense. I just want to go on like I've been for the last five years because I don't know what will happen if things change."

He paused for a moment, deep in thought. "Alright, I'm going to say something you might not like, and you might think she's put me up to it, but I'm telling you that she hasn't. You're not an overly-cautious person. Running for Queen of Naboo? Becoming involved with Anakin?" She winced at the mention of his name. "Starting this…this Rebel Alliance with me? All of that takes incredible courage and a willingness to put yourself into a place that could be pulled out from under you. It takes the courage to face a fall. And whether or not you decide to give Obi-Wan or any other man a chance, all this talk of keeping things the same is not like you. You've always been a person that's ready for change, and I don't know why you're not now."

"But my life is so complete right now. I have you and Kila and a beautiful, healthy daughter. I don't think about the things I don't have." She lowered her head, leaving the topic of Luke out in the air. "But I also have a wonderful friend in Obi-Wan. I don't want to change that or lose that because of some silly feelings that I don't know are even mine, or your wife's influence."

"Uh…maybe I should chat with her about that," he teased.

"Oh, Bail, you know she's not interested in him," she snapped. "She just wants to interfere as much as she possibly can."

"Kila does many silly and irrational things, but she doesn't do things that she thinks are going to hurt the people she loves. Maybe you should consider listening to her." He looked at the doorway. "Anyway, that's my two creds. I should probably get her home now. She's in one of her moods, and I love it when she's in one of her moods."

"Oh, shut up!" Padmé cried, flinging a pillow at him and making him duck, like they really were brother and sister. "I don't want to hear about that! Aren't we supposed to be discussing my love life?"

"Alright," he laughed. "When are you planning your next date with Obi-Wan?" Padmé turned over and screamed in to her pillow, and he left, still laughing.


End file.
